Faith is being aware of the fact that nothing has to be what it is, everything could be whatever YOU want them to be. Believing this is not as simple as being aware of it though, specially when what you want is nothing similar to what the majority wants.
I think the farther you are from this faith the sadder you are. This faith could lead to happiness, even if you never get to what you wanted, and lack of this belief deprives you of happiness, even if you reach what you wanted! But one step before this faith is KNOWING exactly what you want! Faith comes after this knowing.
I guess I found my definition of HAPPINESS! (refer to Happiness ) but I’m not happy yet even based on my own definition of it! Because fist of all I didn’t locate myself in life, I think I know what I want but I’m afraid of not wanting the other things!! and second of all I’m aware of the foresaid faith but I don’t really believe in it (which is bullshit! because if you don’t believe in something you are not really aware of it either)
One interesting passage of growing up is transferring from being shocked by this annoying question that ” Why no one understands me?” to this reasonable relaxing one that ” Why the hell would anyone understand me?!”
“What do you really want in your life?”
Well, that’s a famous question! People answer it in so many various ways. My answer is: I really want to know what I really want in my life! I really do!
After you answered that question, now you should try your best to reach to what you have wanted in your life. So in my case I should try my best to find out what do I really want in my life, cuz that was my answer.
Now the problem is how I should try exactly? I really have no idea! So I better change my answer to the first question. I come up with this: How the hell I’m gonna try to find out what I really want in my life?
What the fuck! This could go on for ever!!
I whish what I wanted in my life was an affirmative sentence! Not a question! I’ve always been in a loop, and know I know why!
When your worries lead you to sleep every night instead of your fantasies, you are a grownup.
You are almost done with the good part of your life, enjoy the shittiest half …
This has been a fucking concept through history! So many point of views, so many definitions! some of them real bullshit (is bullshit uncountable or I have to say bullshits?!), some of them somehow trustworthy but still not enough to rely on …
Some say Happiness is stop worrying about things. I have no idea how it’s even possible!
Some say Happiness is living in the moment. what if the moment is fucked up already?
Some say Happiness is being devoted to other human beings and feel real love which I don’t think it’s possible unless you’re being loved yourself. not for everybody!
Some say Happiness is living your own life as you want and not giving a shit about what other people think. Then you’d better find a cave as your isolated house and keep yourself away from the huge dump of hatred taken by the majority!
Some say Happiness is having a goal and trying your best to achieve it. My simple question is “Then what?! Aren’t we going to leave it and disappear one day?”
Some other say Happiness is trying to be SOMEONE so that we will be remembered by people for ever. My questions: 1.”People remember Hitler! Was he the happiest guy ever?” 2. “How on earth is being remembered after my death is gonna make me happy?! I’m dead for God’s sake!” 3.”Sure I know some names from history and I assume they used to be so great! But is knowing the names considered as “remembering”? And I’m making those dead guys happy by having this information?!”
To me Happiness is there for you when you whimsically find your own definition for it. A definition that doesn’t seem stupid to you and despite your hard efforts, you just can’t bitch about it.
That’s what happens when you give up on your fantasies. When you can not believe your dreams any more. In your 26th year of life, you have no dreams that lead you to sleep. You just have open eyes staring at dark reality …
just be whoever you are! Even if you are an asshole! Just be an asshole! Say what you wanna say! Let them misunderstand you as shit! But just say!
This hiding yourself and overthinking about every little thought eats you alive! You’ll look at yourself one day and you’re just bones! BONEs!